“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

This statement comes off as trite and feels like it minimizes the tragedy our island has seen. However, please stick with me as I challenge you to dig deeper into the wisdom of this saying. At times of change, especially unwelcome change forced upon us, we are given a rare gift (yes, gift) to re-examine our lives and purpose.

Two years ago, my father passed away from pancreatic cancer. His diagnosis was a shock — just a month before, he was chopping down palm trees, and several months before that, enclosing the garage closet to make a larger office. In a few weeks, my once stoic father of 81 years became gaunt and too weak to get back into bed. I have never felt so helpless as a daughter and as a physician. At one point, I caught him crying — something I had never seen him do all my life — and I broke inside. I could not cure him or at least grant him a quick, merciless death. He passed away less than a month after his diagnosis.

To say this loss shook me is an understatement. I had taken my father’s presence for granted, as with every other aspect of my life. With this loss, I was jarred into self-reflection and reevaluating my priorities.

For a few years, I had been restless and unfulfilled. While I found my purpose as a mother, I had lost my purpose as a healer. I felt limited in my role at the time, and I wanted change. For years, I hemmed and hawed, complained and contemplated, waited for the perfect timing, always planning to do things “bum bye” (my father’s favorite saying). My father’s abrupt departure cruelly demonstrated there may never be a “bum bye.”

While I joke that my career pivot was my midlife crisis, the raw truth was that my father’s loss brought about my clarity — a gift. Mind you, I did not see this as a gift then, and it wasn’t until much later that I could appreciate it for what it was. But this clarity launched me into doing things I would not have done before. I reconnected with my life’s purpose and found and am acting on ways to fulfill it. Lemonade out of lemons.

The wounds may still be too deep and fresh for many of you. But if you come up for some air, I encourage you to self-reflect and find or reconnect with your life’s purpose.

You can start by asking yourself:

– What truly matters to you in life?
– What do you value?
– What brings you joy?

Can you then:

– Find a way to channel your strengths and talents into your values and purpose.
– Set meaningful goals that help bring passion into your life.
– Connect with others to connect to your purpose.

Ready to make lemonade? I am a huge nerd and enjoy Shankar Vedantam, who has a podcast called Hidden Brain. He has a Happiness 2.0 series, and I enjoyed this one called “Cultivating your Purpose.” I hope it helps you too.

Happiness 2.0: Cultivating Your Purpose

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About the Author:

Dr. Eri Shimizu is a board certified in Internal Medicine Doctor and soon will be certified through the Institutes of Functional Medicine. She earned a Bachelor of Science in Environmental Bioengineering from the University of Hawaii at Manoa and graduated summa cum laude from Creighton University Medical School. She completed her Internal Medicine residency at UCLA and worked at a Los Angeles county hospital. In 2012, she returned to Hawaii and served as a Hospitalist at Maui Memorial Medical Center. Maui is now home with her husband, two children, and a fighting fish named Rainbow.

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